5 things you should never do while raising your son
“It takes a village to raise a child.” An idiom used by parenting experts, counsellors, child specialist and parents like you and me. After all, we aim to be “perfect parents” which may seem estranged. Also, the modern age of parenting is going through series of a shift to building a progressive future for our kids and one of the key areas to make it work by parenting the right way and breaking the gender stereotypes that exist in our society. One such way to be the change is to raise and groom the boys the right way rather than schooling the girls how to live their life’s.
If you wish to have a son who is well mannered, thoughtful, kind and does not adhere to the patriarchal norm well these are the 5 things you should never do while raising your son
Telling them Not to Cry
One of the statement in my and many people’s house I have heard is “Ladkiyon ki Tarah Nahi rote”. This statement comes from our childhood memories when we were told or we got to hear things from our parents or grandparents which got stuck to our memory. And now, we are parents we just blurt out what we were told. But if you ask me, I want my son to express his emotion and cry if need be. Hence, I taken a conscious decision to never make such statements and let him express.
If you wish your son shows empathy and is sensitive, it is important to be in touch with his own emotion, feel it, express it etc. Soon you will take pride in the fact, your son can understand emotions and may not choose to escape away from tears
Not letting them do the household chores
Helping out at home, raises self-esteem : when parents insist that kids do their chores, they are letting them know that they are not just loved, they are needed.By Wendy Mogel
I don’t know of any women who have not been evaluated on hour house chore skills, but when it comes to men it is not even in the consideration list. But ask the question to the moms who have a daughter or simply ask yourself did you ever like it? Or did you feel unfair? or felt it was rubbish?
It is therefore very important for you to engage your son in household chores and divide responsibilities among siblings (whether girl or boy). If it’s possible get your husband and you to share responsibilities too, as I strongly believe kids learn more from the action than words. From cleaning dishes to mopping the floor your son needs to learn early in life that it is not a women’s job to keep the house up and running.
Not Teaching your son to take NO for an answer
Teaching your son to face rejection is an important step to create the society you wish to live in. For generations, men’s ego has been brushed to an extent that rape, violence seems to be the answer to the NO’s they got. It’s high time we turn around what has been going on around and teach them to listen to the NO’s, accept it and find a positive solution if need be. But, the underlying idea here is they need to Listen to NO.
Not teaching them about CONSENT
Teaching them about the importance of Consent from the early years of life helps in preventing the unwanted situation.
It’s important to teach our kids age-appropriate sexual understanding and also explain the junk associated with it. As we all know Boys are molested too, it is not only important to impart sex education but also create an atmosphere where the child can walk in and pour his deepest feeling into you. At the same time, they value opp gender or other genders in the society and appreciate their decisions too.
Not hugging your child enough
As kids get older we somehow stop expressing love through hugs, kisses, affection. It’s mostly verbal in form like ‘I love you etc. But the key here is holding or hugging your son closer to you whenever possible. It’s a feel-good factor whenever you hug because scientifically oxytocin hormone level increases and on the emotional front you feel good, happy and loved. It should not matter whether your son is 2 years, 12 years or 22 years a simple affection can do wonders with your child emotions and he learns to regulate his feelings
Well, this was a small thought on how can we be better parents and ace parenting afterall Once a Parent, Always a Parent.